What Do Lizards Know About Car Insurance?

So, you're looking for temporary car insurance. Should you go online to research rates and coverage? Maybe ask a friend? Call a lawyer? Fool! Everyone knows that the best car insurance advice going comes from lizards.

Reptiles are well-known experts on cars; they're always getting run over on the highway. When a male lizard is looking to attract a female he just flashes his back. Nothing attracts the babes like a back covered with Hummer tire tracks. A Kia will do in a pinch, but it takes a real stud to go up against a behemoth like a Hummer and live to tell the tale. Speaking of tales, if the male lizard can also lose the tip of his tail in the process, he's looking at a whole line of babes lining up to carry on his genetic material. Not only was he fast enough to avoid becoming road pizza, but his regen powers are a real turn-on to the chicks.

You can buy British temporary car insurance from www.temporarycarinsuranceuk.com

You may be afraid that talking to lizards will inspire your family start looking for state-run facilities in which to place you, but don't let that scare you away from this truly awesome idea. I know what you're thinking: don't lizards eat bugs and hang out in vast desert wastelands? Sure, some of them do. But do you know what else eats bugs? Windshields. Seriously, those things are like bug magnets. Not to mention your car's grill, that thing's so loaded with bugs a lazy lizard is probably waiting for you to drive by right now, just so he can leap onto your front bumper and grab a tasty snack without all the fuss of hunting. Bonus for you: no carwash!

Okay, you're saying, you’ve convinced me that lizards know a lot about cars, but what about car insurance? When's the last time a lizard signed a temporary insurance policy? Answer? They do it all the time! Those tails of theirs are always getting cut off, and not just because you rocketed your Hummer over it going ninety miles an hour. They know those tails aren't going to be around forever and no lizard wants to be hanging around the water hole, answering to the name of "Stumpy" because there's just no way that hot little number checking you out with her left eye is giving you her digits when she just heard your boys calling you "Stumpy". Not gonna happen. That’s why lizards buy tail insurance, and they always pay extra for rental coverage (medical is included). The Chameleon Gluteus Maximus XL is the most popular rental tail model, since it changes color to match any skin tone, but the lower end insurance companies will still cover the Chameleon Gluteus Minimus, which is a little smaller but still a decent prosthetic.

Now, quit reading and go get yourself a lizard. I recommend asking an eight-year-old to help you; they're your best bet to find a lizard in its natural habitat.

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